Living in a house with 8 people and being the youngest one can be very stressful. Everybody can boss you around and their excuse is always, "I'm older than you." If the house has to be vacuumed or if our dog has to be taken out, guess who's doing the job. So sometimes I just want to be alone, but at home, there are no "me" places when you share a room with your brother and you have 7 other people on the other side of the door. My "special" place is outside at the baseball field. There's no one even near me who can yell at me and this is a place I am very familiar to.
Baseball has been in my life for a huge part of my life. 9 years to be exact. The baseball field has become my second home without the 7 other people in my house telling me what to do. It's just me, my baseball stuff and a big open field. Out of all the options of things I can do, I choose hitting off a tee into the towering backstop in the back of the field.
Since I could go to the park by myself I would go to the field every now and then and clear my mind of all the stress I have by hitting countless buckets of balls. Even when I was really little, my dad would take me to the same field and pitch to me buckets and buckets of balls. This "special" place is really special to me because it has been my "special" place since I started going there with my dad. I cherish this place and will always remember the good times I had smacking balls.
Going to my "special" place always made me feel a lot better and less stressed. Just being there on the field makes me feel relaxed. But, I can't stay at my "special" place forever. I always regret going home from the baseball field because I know that I won't get the peace and quiet I get at my "special" place. But, I know that I won't always get what I want. That's why when I go to my "querencia", it is really special to me.
Your story conveys a wide open place to a special area that you find happy in your eyes. The writing has a purpose to the field, and seems to address that very field in an effective form that is presented throughout the story. The personal tale is enough to hear a "voice" in the story, which is structured well. It's shows a sense of gladness to what means a lot to you.
ReplyDeleteYou quoted the word special a lot, sometimes twice in the same sentence. Rather, try using it once in some sentences and leaving it unquoted, as the word is a general term.
Great description! The purpose of your writing is clear and the audience can understand you. The form of your story is effective and the reader can understand where you are going to next. The content is great, but maybe you should put why you started baseball. What got you into baseball. Or did any other sibling help you play baseball. Explain more reasons how baseball or the baseball feild is your Querencia. Your voice is clear and content throughout the story. I don't think you put enough personal comments in your story to make the reader feel how you feel. The purpose of the story is understandable, but I feel that you should put more things into your story, since it's kind of short and the audience can't understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteYOU NEED TO TELL EXACTLY HOW THIS PLACE RELIEVES THAT STRESS, WHAT DOES IT DO FOR YOU THAT HELPS YOU GET THOSE NEGATIVE FEELINGS OUT. IF YOU LOVE BASEBALL SO MUCH I NEED TO HEAR IN THE IDEAS AND IMAGERY YOU CREATE. AS(2+)
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