Life is beautiful. Getting the chance to explore the lengths of the Earth learn about anything there is to learn about. But it also has an expiration date. It shouldn't be wasted with regrets. It should be filled with everlasting memories that were once dreams, then turned into reality. This is what one should do in their limited lifetime. "A Coney Island Life" by James L. Weil portrays that one shall live in the present not knowing what awaits them in the future.
James L. Weil said, "To catch that brass-ring-sun before the game is up." This was a metaphor saying that this person's time is almost up in their life. They have to catch that last glimpse of light before they never see the world again. He used this metaphor to really emphasize that life is beautiful and it can end at anytime so you should make the best of it. He also quoted, "I take perhaps my last ride on this planet carousel." What he means by this is that this person has a very short amount of time left in their life such as the last circle on the carousel. This person knows he only has that little bit of time before they cannot ride the carousel any longer.
James L. Weil also wrote, "And ask how many more times round I have." This statement explains how this person doesn't know how much they have left. They have to wait for the moment when they can't ride anymore. He also stated, "And soon my helium hopes break skyward without me." What he means by this is that this person didn't get to do everything they wanted to in life. Their hopes that were not completed are going up with them as they go out of the world. This metaphor really explains that one should use their life as much as they can and make all of their dreams reality so one doesn't have to take any of their incomplete hopes up towards the sky with them.
James L. Weil used metaphors to explain how life is like Coney Island. It is really fun, but in the back of your mind, you know that the fun has to end sometime. With this poem he is trying to encourage everyone to live in the present not knowing what awaits them in the future. Don't let any unfulfilled dreams follow you out of your life. Finish the dreams before there is no tome left.
Great intentions with your essay; I can definitely see what direction you're trying to go with this essay. The execution of it, though, is somewhat lackluster.
ReplyDeleteI noticed you start every body (and the conclusion) with "James L. Weil..." and I want to say that you don't need to really do that when it comes to a literary analysis. Sure; you should definitely follow the TERRERRC format, but you don't have to follow it in verbatim.
You could also add in some more sentences to close up certain ideas (speaking of, there aren't any topic sentences for the bodies, so I'd want to fix them). The only place where you would want readers to really ponder upon and think about is the conclusion, where the lasting insight of the essay is.
There are also a couple of grammatical and technical errors here and there, but they don't distract me from the point of the essay too much.
In general: Good intentions, "decent" execution.
-C
This rough draft was good in terms of sentence fluency and word choice. One thing that you should change is putting the quotes in chronological order. Also , for your reasoning , you should relate them to your thesis statement a little more. Overall , good job! It sounds like you put a lot of effort into it and it flows really smoothly.
ReplyDeleteALL PARAGRAPHS NEED TO BE MORE COMPLETE IN YOUR DISCUSSION AND IDEAS. THE INTRO HAS RANDOM IDEAS THAT AREN'T FULLY EXPLAINED. YOU ONLY EXPLAIN IN ONE SENTENCE WHICH IS NOT ENOUGH. YOU ALSO FORGOT TO INTRODUCE THE POEM AND GIVE A SHORT SUMMARY/SYNOPSIS BEFORE STATING THESIS. BODY PARAGRAPHS ARE MISSING TOPIC SENTENCES SO WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. ALSO STOP REPEATING "WHAT HE MEANS BY THIS" YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO JUST LIST A QUOTE THEN EXPLAIN WHAT HE MEANS. BUT HAVE DISCUSSION AND REASON WHY THIS SUPPORTS THE THESIS OR PROVES IT TO BE CORRECT. LASTLY, THE CONCLUSION AGAIN NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED MORE. AS(2-)
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